The Bottom Line Rests in Peace
1-05-00
1-05-00
 Hello everyone once again. Loyal readers, this is your pal Faze once again updating what was once THE best damn column in the entire net today and now after New Year's, I have once again returned to enlighten your lives with my views and perspectives. Don't like 'em? Leave. Well the Millenium is here and RAW is CRAP was what I witnessed. Where was the Undertaker, Shane, Vince, Ken Shamrock, or Tazz? All of the internet readers knew by know that either of these would be returning, but alas, the McMahon-Helmsley era is being dragged out, and do I really care? Not really. So instead of talking about the latest RAW news and views, let's talk about something else, something that I noticed and realized while reading my dear Kanike's column. I've come to realize that with the time most people, with the ongoing flow of the internet of course, have come to think they are "smarts". Smart you say? A term where you know what is going to happen in accordance to storylines and gimmicks. But still, most of us are "marks". Why "marks", hell, even with the Internet, we don't have the scripts in our hands, we don't know what's going to happen on the entire show. We don't know who is going to do what, we only have an idea, and that's it. For example, how many people have said this and that about the Undertaker, saying he would return last week, that he would return this week, a lot. Probably many of you reading this right now thought that by now I'd have something to write about Mark Calloway, but I don't! Amazing isn't it? I was wrong! I thought the Undertaker would be back shortly after I saw him here in Puerto Rico! Sure he gained a bit of weight, so what? I saw this first hand, but damn, he actually looked a bit good out there in that tag match he wrestled in. The Undertaker is back, but when will he BE back? No one knows, I don't think even he knows, so why try to guess? Why try to act like we know all about the Undertaker and BLAH BLAH others like Kanike with our guesses and speculations. Personally, whenever I see news about the Undertaker on www.rajahwwf.com (Come on, most of you go there and know the place I am talking about), I don't click on the news, why, because I want to be surprised. I want to be excited about him coming back. Why? Well I remember a few years back, when I saw a casket on a stage, the Undertaker's shades of blue ran through all over the ring and lightning hit the casket and the Undertaker was back. Remember the excitement of that? Remember thinking how cool it was for him to be back? Why not have that again now? What fun is it to go on the Internet and try to find out everything about the Undertaker or anyone else for that matter? So we can brag to people that don't even care, or so that we can ruin it for them? Personally, don't email me with the latest news on the Undertaker, I'll just delete it. I want to recapture that magic that the Undertaker once had to offer, and oh he still does have it. Just kick back and think for a while. Who is the only active wrestler in the WWF who wrestled every single year or almost every single year in the 90's in the WWF? Remember, I am saying active so Shawn Michaels superkicking the Rock on Smackdown does NOT count. Stone Cold? Remember, it took him 8 F'N years to get that belt, but EH EH he wasn't in the WWF since 1990. The Rock? Triple H? Mick Foley? Notice the trend of great names? Yep, and only one endured and an attire decade and still makes an impact. The Undertaker. Ten damned (no pun intended) years in the WWF. Here's a kicker for you, all of the guys aforementioned, started from the bottom, each winning the Intercontinental Title at least once before ever reaching the WWF Championship. And here's an even bigger kicker, how about being known as the second man to ever pin Hulk Hogan? The Undertaker. Quite simply, the Undertaker. The Undertaker was a main event ever since Ted Dibiase brought him in and ever since, he's captivated people's imaginations and has made marks out of all us. Me, and Undertaker "mark". OH HELL YEAH. Ironic, but true. The Undertaker is that dark side of all of us and we love to hear his theme music and love to see his entrance and love even more each time he returns. So for once, all you internet addicts, just shy away from sites that give you up to date so-called information and just let things happen. It's the Internet that leads you to believe he will be back and yet, Vince sits in his 24K gold chair laughing at us, knowing we are just running around thinking we know all, that we see all, and yet, not even Vince Russo knows what Vince McMahon is capable of. So let's stop being Internet Gods and Idols, let's stop the crap about what we do or don't know. All I know, is that I'll be waiting at RAW or Smackdown for him to return. Ah yes, the bell will ring and I will love it. So will you and that's where the bottom line rests in peace... |